When I don’t wake up at 8:30am it’s because the moon touched my hands and caressed my face, the waves gently whispered my name, and the stars told me their secrets all night.

-an ode to Jack Johnson’s ‘Banana Pancakes’ and CardlinAudio’s ‘Wake Up Slow’

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Just a Memory

We whispered our dreams under the covers, starlight on our breath

//

You looked at me like no one else had seen me before

//

I looked at you with a kind of happiness I hadn’t felt in years

//

Fate turned her head and shut her ears,

just for us and our dreams.

My Mother

what if

there isn’t enough time

to give her what she deserves

do you think

if i begged the sky hard enough

my mother’s soul would

return to me as my daughter

so i can give her

the comfort she gave me

my whole life

rupi kaur
My beautiful mom

Anyone could tell me that my mother is not the most breathtakingly beautiful woman in the world and I still would never believe it. My mother is and always has been the most strong, composed, charming, lovely, kind, full of wonder, funny, and arguably the most beautiful woman I have ever had the privilege of knowing. I use the word privilege because it is a privilege, I feel lucky to know my mom.

My mother doesn’t usually get the appreciation she deserves. She is often overlooked, spoken over, ignored, she’s even been forgotten about on important holidays or occasions. Astonishingly, she takes it all in a stride. I’ve only seen her get upset over how she can be treated a handful of times. She understands with a grace I am envious of that my family sometimes is forgetful, hot-headed, and too caught up in our own feelings to treat her how she would like. That of course does not mean we don’t feel terrible or change our actions when we realize we’ve hurt her. I would be so lucky to be half of the mother she is. She is always there for her children and stayed strong throughout everything life threw at her. She and her mother weren’t very close, and she tried so hard to always show us how much she cared.

Unfortunately my mother and I weren’t very close until just before I moved out, which was mostly my fault. I wish I had spent more time with her and really talked with her more often. I sometimes wish I hadn’t left so soon after turning eighteen. I don’t think I knew how much one of your children growing up and moving out really affects you, and now that I do I wish that I hadn’t put my mom through that so quickly. I think we would’ve become much closer if I had stayed longer, but it’s nice growing closer even with the distance. It brings me a lot of peace knowing that she’s in a better place than she used to be with her health getting better and my dad retiring. She deserves every good thing that comes her way and much more.

I love you mom, I know you’ll never forget that you are so loved and I hope you know how much we all appreciate you.